Today during Asher's nap I came across a small stash of school papers that I had written over the years. After looking a few of them over I suddenly came to this terrifying conclusion: I am getting stupider.
One of the papers that I read was a response to J.D. Salinger's "For Esme- With Love & Squalor". I wrote this response in High School, and not only was it very well written, I had amazing insight! The funny thing is that I just read this story a few months ago and it was like I was reading it for the first time. I didn't remember any of the amazing conclusions I had come to before... I actually had to look up the definition of "squalor" because I wasn't precisely sure what it meant. High School Me was way better at understanding the subtleties of Salinger's short story; I was learning brilliant things from my 16-year-old self. There are two unsettling things about this: first of all I am totally and obviously losing my memory/mind, and secondly I have cold, hard evidence with which I am able to verify the decline of my brain and talent. (The papers I had written in college were terrible!)
A few months ago I read a scary story that I had written for an assignment in Junior High. It was amazing! It couldn't have taken me longer than a few hours to compose. Now, I spend an hour writing and I've got a few mediocre paragraphs. I thought I was supposed to be increasing in wisdom as I aged... at least that is what the birthday songs promise. What gives?!?
4 comments:
Ha ha ha.. you are so funny. Sometimes I feel like that too... but you of all people I doubt is getting dumber, if you are... you are still way smarter than I am.
I have felt like that with teaching seminary Jamie...the great insights I have had in the past seem to disappear into some other plane of existence.
The biggest problem that I feel I've run into (in relation to a similar person problem) is that there is a lack assignments and deadline and instructor to be scrutinized by. Ashby can be demanding but never gives me that kind of homework! ;)
I blame it all on having kids. :)
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