Somehow he had taken off half of his diaper. He had pooped, and you know what is coming next. The crib was covered in poop. It was all over him, the sheets, the bumper... miraculously it missed his stuffed animal which I promptly removed. He was happy to see me, but I couldn't touch him for a few minutes. I was in shock, but I started acting anyway. I got baby wipes and removed as much of the offending matter as I could, but it was stubborn stuff. Eventually I stripped him down, plopped him in the tub and started scrubbing him and rinsing him off. He cried at the water coming out of the faucet, but I didn't care. I just kept trying not to inhale. He wanted to touch me, but I dodged the best I could. Even after he was clean I didn't want to kiss him. I don't want to think about what has been in his mouth.
I finished scrubbing him and I dried him off and got him dressed. Then I let him play while I was cleaning up the crib with about 20 disposable lysol cleaning sheets. Of course, while I was cleaning he found my brand new necklace from my trip to LA and broke it. I usually don't care about that sort of thing, and it was only a dollar, but I hadn't worn it yet and it is really cute and he had just POOPED all over everything... so I was a little rough as I immediately wrapped him up in a clean blanket and put him down in his newly cleaned crib for a delayed nap. He cried for a little while, but he's asleep now- which is a good thing... my nerves are shot! How do people deal with this stuff!? It is only 12:00, and I feel done for the day.
Maybe Asher was just trying to help me with my diet. I feel like I can never eat again.