Last night we went to the church for our annual ward Christmas party. It was fiesta themed and the food was fantastic, which is unusual. (I'm just being real here.) They asked me a few days ago to perform a song dressed as an angel for their nativity. I sang "The First Noel" barefoot and wrapped up in yards of flowing cream fabric. I'm glad there are no pictures because I probably look like a humongous female yeti or something, but I sang pretty well. The lights were dim and other people performed, there was even a real baby representing Jesus. My kids loved it, especially Gwen. She loved that I was an angel.
After we got home Asher wanted to direct a play of his own. He has seen the Charlie Brown Christmas Special, and Charlie Brown was the director. Also, Asher likes to be in control. He is constantly making deals with us. Mom. Either you let me watch a movie, or I will not talk the whole day through! That is the deal. Anyway, he wanted to do a Wolverine play, but Dan said he could only stay up if he directed a Christmas themed play. Also Gwen really wanted to be Mary and she was already holding a rolled up blanket that was supposed to be baby Jesus. And when Gwen doesn't get her way now-a-days, she screams and cries like she is on fire. We pick our battles.
Asher was upset, but we dragged him in eventually on the condition that he could "dress up" the stage. We all took turns playing different parts. Except Gwen, of course. Asher was Joseph sometimes, sometimes he was the innkeeper, sometimes he was a shepherd. We sang silent night at the end, with Gwen yelling at me to stop for half of the song.
We will be in Utah for Christmas, so I have a lot of preparing to do. Sometimes I feel like it is easy to get in the Christmas Spirit and sometimes I want to just curl up in bed and shut out the world. It has been raining, which I love, but on the flip side it triggers that "curl up in bed" feeling. There was also a major tragedy in Connecticut where a man killed a bunch of young children and teachers at an elementary school, and that has got me all sad and out-of-sorts as well. I pray for those kids and their families, and all the people who had to be exposed to that tragedy, and I pray even harder for my children's safety and in gratitude for my blessings. I guess my view of Christmas changes the older I get, but I feel like the world needs the special feeling that Christmas brings more and more. I hope the Christmas Spirit will always be alive as long as the weary world exists.
Saturday, December 15, 2012
Thursday, December 13, 2012
Mr. Sandman....
Asher can't sleep.
I guess that is the problem with having too big of an imagination, he just can't turn it off. And at night his thoughts take on a sinister twist. He is convinced that his closet is dangerous when it is dark outside. He demands that it be closed tight every night, and if there is even a little crack open, he will not rest. He breaks down in tears telling me about how one time Boba Fett really did come out of his closet and I have to believe him he really ruhziques (exists) and he had a gun and everything, Mom. It doesn't help to tell him that didn't happen or it is impossible or it is all in his head. I just have to say, "Well what happened after that? Did he shoot you? Or did he just go away?" And Asher has to admit that no harm came to him but he is still so scared. One night, I didn't ever even close my eyes at all, Mom.
Last night he came into our bed and our room and woke us up at least ten times. Which might be more times or less than the night before, I have lost track. We all had a rough night, and when he should have been getting dressed he climbed into our open suitcase and shut himself in. I had to spend a lot of time this morning telling him that we really did love him even if we told him to leave our room a hundred times in the night. I had to explain how we CAN'T SLEEP when he is in our bed and how when we are tired we can't do things correctly and we can't focus and we get grouchy and mean. But always I must remind him how much we both love him, (even Dad?) even Dad, even when we tell him to sleep in his own bed or on the floor in our room, it isn't that we don't love him it is that we really NEED TO SLEEP.
I don't know how to fix this situation. A lock on his closet door? We already moved Gwen into his room, and that hasn't helped. We gave him blankets by our bed, but that doesn't seem to be solving anything either. We always say prayers when he is scared, we tell him that our house is so safe and that he has so many guardian angels watching over him and that he has never been hurt and that he won't be hurt now. He is still scared.
And we can't sleep.
(PS Since the last entry we went to the Stewart's Christmas party which was fun. I got some Isagenix products during the white elephant gift exchange. It was a miracle. I willed it to happen, and it happened. But somehow I can't do that with Asher's sleeping habits.
I also went to East Valley Mormon Choral Organization concert at the Mesa Arts Center. One of my friends had an extra ticket, and I am so glad that she offered it to me! The song arrangements were amazing, the orchestra was amazing, and the 1,000 participants in the different choirs were also amazing. Many people asked if I wanted to join afterward, and I think I almost do want to sing with them. Almost. I for sure want Asher to sing with the little kids. They were fantastic and hilarious. And somehow I missed the memo that a few of my relatives were in the choir, so that was a fun surprise to see them performing up there.
I was in the Stake Christmas choir this year. I also directed the Young Women choir. They sang The First Noel and sounded like angels with violin accompaniment. It was an amazing concert with an orchestra and everything. Not as amazing as EVMCO, or Disneyland, but still pretty darn great.)
I guess that is the problem with having too big of an imagination, he just can't turn it off. And at night his thoughts take on a sinister twist. He is convinced that his closet is dangerous when it is dark outside. He demands that it be closed tight every night, and if there is even a little crack open, he will not rest. He breaks down in tears telling me about how one time Boba Fett really did come out of his closet and I have to believe him he really ruhziques (exists) and he had a gun and everything, Mom. It doesn't help to tell him that didn't happen or it is impossible or it is all in his head. I just have to say, "Well what happened after that? Did he shoot you? Or did he just go away?" And Asher has to admit that no harm came to him but he is still so scared. One night, I didn't ever even close my eyes at all, Mom.
Last night he came into our bed and our room and woke us up at least ten times. Which might be more times or less than the night before, I have lost track. We all had a rough night, and when he should have been getting dressed he climbed into our open suitcase and shut himself in. I had to spend a lot of time this morning telling him that we really did love him even if we told him to leave our room a hundred times in the night. I had to explain how we CAN'T SLEEP when he is in our bed and how when we are tired we can't do things correctly and we can't focus and we get grouchy and mean. But always I must remind him how much we both love him, (even Dad?) even Dad, even when we tell him to sleep in his own bed or on the floor in our room, it isn't that we don't love him it is that we really NEED TO SLEEP.
I don't know how to fix this situation. A lock on his closet door? We already moved Gwen into his room, and that hasn't helped. We gave him blankets by our bed, but that doesn't seem to be solving anything either. We always say prayers when he is scared, we tell him that our house is so safe and that he has so many guardian angels watching over him and that he has never been hurt and that he won't be hurt now. He is still scared.
And we can't sleep.
(PS Since the last entry we went to the Stewart's Christmas party which was fun. I got some Isagenix products during the white elephant gift exchange. It was a miracle. I willed it to happen, and it happened. But somehow I can't do that with Asher's sleeping habits.
I also went to East Valley Mormon Choral Organization concert at the Mesa Arts Center. One of my friends had an extra ticket, and I am so glad that she offered it to me! The song arrangements were amazing, the orchestra was amazing, and the 1,000 participants in the different choirs were also amazing. Many people asked if I wanted to join afterward, and I think I almost do want to sing with them. Almost. I for sure want Asher to sing with the little kids. They were fantastic and hilarious. And somehow I missed the memo that a few of my relatives were in the choir, so that was a fun surprise to see them performing up there.
I was in the Stake Christmas choir this year. I also directed the Young Women choir. They sang The First Noel and sounded like angels with violin accompaniment. It was an amazing concert with an orchestra and everything. Not as amazing as EVMCO, or Disneyland, but still pretty darn great.)
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