Lucky... is that you?

I bought some Lucky Charms on sale the day after St. Patty's Day. (This was the closest I got to celebrating the "holiday" by the way.) There is something nostalgic about Lucky Charms for me. I used to eat all the cheerio-type bits and save all the marshmallows for the end, so the last bites would be pure sugary goodness. Gross, I know.
Asher asked for some Lucky Charms this morning, and I noticed his eating strategy differs from mine. He picks all the marshmallows out first and eats the other stuff if he feels like it. I wonder what that says about our personalities....

Anyway, when I saw the Lucky Charms box, something looked different to me, and it wasn't just the new thing they have done to the marshmallows. It was Lucky the Leprechaun. I mean, I know it is required by cereal law to have a picture of some sort of smiling and deranged wide-mouthed mascot eyeing a picture of whatever is in the box like he is going to eat it before you, but this was different.

First off, did they remove his eyebrows or is that them partying with the rest of his hair under the hat? If those are his eyebrows, they are huge.

Secondly, his hat has been replaced. By some alien that looks like it is impersonating a hat and is trying to eat his head.
Third, is that a green wing or part of his coat? Maybe it is a scarf with octopus tentacles as fringe? Perhaps it is part of the alien on his head.

Next, there is sparkling hookah smoke all around him, which he is ignoring just fine. He has his eyes on the prize.

Lastly, let's talk about those crazy eyes. I don't think he could blink if he tried. His pupils are swimming in a sea of white, and he looks slightly mad. As in crazy. A happy, euphoric crazy.

Ok, now lets talk about the back of the box. The top says "Discover the Power of Teleporting." Ok, kids. Let's do that. Already this sounds disturbingly mystical. But wait, there is a picture below showing us what teleportation looks like...

AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Run for the hills!!! Lucky is going to throw swirly marshmallows at you and KILL you and then he will disappear! The only weapon that you can use against him is apparently a cell phone or video camera. Otherwise those teeth are going right for your jugular, and you better believe no one will hear you scream in that creepy graveyard where you guys are hanging out.

Oh Lucky, what have they done to you? All those years of paranoia about people being after your Lucky Charms have finally broken you. Apparently you bartered your soul for the ability to teleport and now you can fight back... but to what end, Lucky? To what end?